We went to play tennis the other night at some tennis courts we drove by to go to one of the grocery stores that failed.
Me: These courts are pretty ghetto.
Dave: But they're close by and they have fences in between the courts so the amateurs won't bug us as much.
Me: True dat. We'll give them a shot. (I walk to the far side of the court and notice the grafitti adorning it)
Dave: These balls are pretty dead. (realizing they've been in his trunk since last summer)
Me: (Finally figuring out what the grafitti says) Penis. It says penis!
Dave: What? No, it doesn't. (walks over)
Dave: (looking strangely at the grafitti) I think it says Pookie.
Me: uhh no I'm pretty sure it says penis.
Dave: I don't think so, but can we keep playing?
Me: Uh I guess but the balls are really dead.
Random guy on the court next to us: Do you guys need some more balls?
Simultaneously:
Me: Yes!
Dave: Nah, we're ok.
Me: (shoots Dave a look like "uhh hello? why not?")
Dave: Ok Sure, if you don't mind.
Random guy: I've got plenty, I coach Harding High School and we get balls donated to us.
Me: Oh that's great! Thanks so much!
Random guy: We're out here everyday, but we're usually done by 6 so if you come after that the courts are empty.
Dave: ok. (thinking: go away buddy, and shooting me a look like "this is why I said no in the first place")
Random guy leaves. Dave hits one of the "donated" balls over to me. It's more dead than the balls we had.
Me: (after I've hit the past 10 shots in the net) This sucks, can we go yet?
Dave: We've only been out here like 30 minutes.
Me: I know but it feels like we're in hurt village.
Dave: What are you talking about? Just let me serve a few.
Me: Ok, but do you think there are crack dealers out here?
Dave: I bet at some point there was a crack dealer here.
Me: Today or just in general?
Dave: Today. This isn't the best part of town.
Me: uhh, ok let's go, I'm over this, unless Big Mike is here to protect us.
Dave: Jeez that wasn't even a workout.
Me: I know, I'd play more if the courts were nicer, can we join a club?
Dave: Who do you think we are?
Me: I don't know but I know I'm not coming back to hurt village to play on the penis courts.
Dave: You're ridiculous.

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